Rotary Log for Meet of April 7, 2016
by Jon Flagg
 
WHAT A JOKE!
 
 
Our club is a joke…or lots of them…at least on April 7th. But more on that in a moment.
 
 
Our long lost former member Lynn Del was a guest today, and it was great to have her back. Also joining us was Sam Jarvis who was here to help us toast Andrew Jarvis. Andrew Jarvis came to America from Greece with almost no money and even less ability to speak English. He lived on a mattress in a New Jersey bakery where he learned to speak English from the employees.
 
 
He was the ultimate self-made man. He worked hard and eventually became mayor of Portsmouth. He owned hotels and restaurants and, throughout, never took anything for granted. He gave a gift of $20,000 that started our club’s endowment that now exceeds $2,000,000. His one stipulation: raise a toast to me on my birthday…and we have ever since. Here’s to you, Andrew!
 
A few announcements:
  • Saturday, May 7 is our Middle School work project…Our lunch cost is going up by $1 in August thanks to Justin Finn eating like it’s his last meal. And Rev. Allen taking snacks home to his dog…Our annual dues that have not been raised since 2002 are going up by 25 bucks…Our 23rd annual golf tournament that has topped $30,000 for the last 5 years is coming up. Please see Andy Chase to volunteer.
 
 
Former President and Court Jester Neil began our Joke Day with memories of our tent set-up that used to take two hours to complete. Until one year we asked some spouses to help us when the regular members could not show up. The job got done in 20 minutes…He recalled how Eric was incensed that we had to pay for eight cops rather than six for the road race. When he saw two cops standing round apparently doing nothing, he yelled at them, “Do something!” They did. They asked him to get them some chicken from our BBQ.
 
 
Not to be outdone, our Emperor-Elect James told us more about his love life than we needed to know. He inscribed a mirror on his ceiling “items in this mirror may appear larger than they are…”
 
 
Dan told about the physician who said his was the oldest profession. That’s because God surgically removed a rib from Adam to make Eve. An engineer responded that his was the oldest profession because God made heaven and earth out of chaos. The lawyer asked, “Who do you think created all that chaos?”
 
These are just a few of the joke samples. There’s the one about the bartender who would not serve ducks. Or the barber who thought he was tricking the dumbest kid in the world. Not to mention the guy who could not tell a joke. And there were more great ones.
 
 
And then the professional, Jim McHugh, got a shot. He was a riot and our thanks to Cousin Richard for getting him here. He lost 68 lbs. from stalking a jogger…He is married so “I’m trying to work that out”…His wife watches HGTV so she can think of things for him to do…He repainted a room in three days. But only after being badgered by his wife because it takes seven days to get a gun permit…
 
 
When he has a romantic night with his wife, he cleans the gutters the next day. That’s because he knows a year has gone by…When President Bill told him he was a printer, Jim responded, “You know, we all have printers hooked up to our computers now that do that. Want to buy a chariot factory I have for sale”?
 
Always the best meeting of the year. Thanks Neil! And thanks Cousin Richard!
 
Respectfully submitted, Jon Flagg
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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