Rotary Log: April 5, 2012 (joke day)

Our yearly meeting devoted to all things funny, the Comedy Show, started innocently enough with a few announcements.

  Stanford Cross and Priscilla MacInnis told us about the Blue Angels Air Show 6/30 and 7/1.  This is probably the last air show the region will host for some time, and Rotarians and non-Rotarians alike are needed from 8am to 5 pm both days to staff the event in shifts.  Rotary will net 10% of the proceeds!  You must sign up by May 20th to participate.  Call or email Priscilla for more information.  The link to sign up is http://nhscouting.org/openrosters/viewhomepage.asp?orgkey=2517, using the concessions tab. 

Next thursday after our Rotary meeting there will be a Basic Needs Committee meeting.  Joanie Dickinson is still looking for wine and other donations for our April 19th Auction which will be held at the Portsmouth Country Club this year. Thank you for all the donations already received!  If you can't be here for the auction, Joanie advises, give your checkbook to a friend!?  I think that might have been the first joke told, but only Joanie knows for sure. 

Neil Ouellette opened the program in a reprise of his much esteemed role as Master of Ceremonies and Emcee extraordinaire.  Apparently, each year many people tell him they don't know how to tell a joke.   So, this year, courtesy of Neil, here are the rules to joke telling:

"How to tell a Joke"  by Neil Ouellette

Rule 1:  Know your material.

Rule 2:  Don't tell a lousy joke. 

Rule 3:  Is known as the rule of 3. You have 3 chances to tell the punch line, after that you've lost your crowd.  The joke can't be too long.....

Rule 4: Know your punch line.   Don't tell the whole joke then forget your punch line.

Rule 5:   It's just as bad if you know the punch line but not the lead in....

There were way too many good jokes to include them all here.  Local vet and PDG Mort Schmidt told a good vet joke, Butch told a lawyer joke, as did Dan Hoefle.  Rick Page, in a moment that will live on in Rotary history to be sure, breaking at least 3 of our new rules and prompting professional comedian Mike McDonald, our guest, to christen him with Rule number 6, which is "Keep your day job!".   Those of us warming the benches gotta admire him for trying.  I hope Jay gave him a ride back to work. 

 Ben Wheeler had a little fun with PP Neil and if you missed it, ask him to tell you his tennis ball joke.  We all had a laugh over  Donny, Cooter and Bubba, and the case of beer from the widow, followed by a very intelligent bull frog.   Justin Finn's told a little edgy joke, and Nancy Notis had a good joke about the poor old Greek man on his death bed.   Then our guest professional, Mike, who came  accompanied by former member Richard Smith, took the mike with probably enough material after seeing us to create his next comedy show. 

After chasing down poor Rick Page, he jumped on Rev Gordon Allen with his 4 years of college and 1 book joke, and we quickly realized no one was safe.  Hemade fun of Chief Ferland, throwing in the state police for good measure.  He enlightened us about the male mums, the Hawaiian shirt, tucked out, Poked fun at our fancy "Craftsman" wine toast, courtesy of Andrew Jarvis,  meanwhile accusing me of sexting as I wrote the log on my IPad.  

Justin Finn was teased about portfolios, Which open up to show you that you have no money but are really fine, just turn them upside down....

I had to laugh at his underwear jokes....but I couldn't possibly re-tell them.

And of course, we now know that Mort means death, so think twice if you see Mort put up a second sign for taxidermy, unless that's your thing. 

All in all a great time, and thanks to Neil and all who helped make it good fun for everyone.